Someone Like You
by ExiledEliteFic
Summary: Bella reflects on her mistakes and bittersweet memories of Edward Masen, the one and only love of her life. Based on the song written by Adele. This is the life of Bella swan, there aren't any rainbows this time. One shot for now, may continue later. Written by HellKittenB - Twilight/Angst Edward/Bella Rated M


Disclaimer:_** I Do Not Own Twilight. **_All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. I also do NOT own the song, written by Adele.

"**Someone like You"**

By

_HellKittenB_

_Life has a funny way of haunting you... The path you choose, the consequences you face, the amount of irony that stares back at you every time you look in the mirror. It's all accounted for, it's all justified by some greater being and the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can get on with our lives. Every once in a while, life gives you a fairytale, but that's not what this is. This isn't one of those feel good, happy stories that get passed down through generations of family members. It's the kind that you wish you could un-see. The kind that sends chills down your spine every time you're reminded of what was... It's a tragic story but it's mine. My name is Bella Swan and this is my life. _

**BPOV**

I walked into the living room after a long day, to find Emmett and Rosalie, two of my best and longest friends, sitting awkwardly on the couch, unable to even look at me. With a cautious approach, I spoke softly as I leaned against the door frame, bracing myself for what appeared to be bad news.

"_What's wrong_?" I asked, nervous from their demeanor, I had no idea what to think as they all stared back at me, something similar evident in all their features as their eyes landed on mine then fell with something that looked like pity.

"_Bella, I think you should sit down_," Emmett said with a pass of his hand, motioning for me to sit next to Rosalie. I watched his body language as he stepped aside, running a hand around to the back of his neck, a stressful sigh escaping as he avoided my eyes.

"_Em, you are just really freaking me out right now, what's going on?"_ I pleaded for him to tell me, my hands had started to shake as I gripped the edge of the couch, sitting back slowly as I glanced between all their eyes. He finally shook off a deep breath and stared back at me, his hand resting on my knee, which only seemed to make me even more uneasy.

"_I'm really sorry, B... There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just going to drop it on you the best way I know how. Edward is married"._ There was a long pause before his eyes fell from mine and regret polished his features before he finished speaking. "_I found out yesterday, it's some girl named Lauren. They married about a month ago in little chapel outside Port Angeles… I'm sorry_," he spoke his words slowly as he held my hand, making sure I understood what he was saying. I felt my stomach drop, and then I was lightheaded as I processed what he had told me.

_Edward was married…_

_Married…_

_My Edward…_

My love… _my life_.

He didn't want me, so he married someone else. Someone who would never love him, as much as I do. Nobody would ever know the real Edward, apart from me. Nobody would ever know the sweet and sensitive side that he wore under a mask of confidence and an armor of inked art. He was hiding under the scars that mapped out the story of his life. He lived as someone else when he wasn't with me and nobody else would ever again know the real Edward Masen. In that one tiny moment, I never felt more grief and more regret for what I did to him, but hopefully this Lauren girl would never hurt him the way I did.

I'm reminded every day of what I did to him. I betrayed him in the worst way possible, and there is absolutely nothing I can ever do to take it back. I don't want to. I want to remember what a horrible person I am. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to us, _how could I ever have imagined that he would?_

"_Bella? Are you alright_?" Rosalie's voice pulled me from my mental scolding of self loathing. I froze the instant I heard her voice, fearing that I was showing on the outside how I felt on the inside. I had to put on that familiar façade and hold my head up, regardless of how hard I was crumbling on the inside. I stood slowly, clenching my eyes shut tight for a moment to rid my mind of the flashes of his eyes that were burning through my brain in that minute.

"_Yeah, you guys …. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, I just need to be alone right now, okay_?" I spoke with a shaky voice, trying my best to hold back the sobs that were destined to escape. Emmett grabbed Rose right away and lifted her off the couch, pulling her towards the door as he eyed me carefully. I offered a small smile, knowing that would have looked nothing even remotely close to what a smile should look like or represent. I was broken, and I knew it was only going to be mere minutes before I had yet another breakdown.

"_Bella, you just come over if you need us, we're right across the street. I mean it, anything at all, please, we're here for you_," he whispered, before moving to wrap his big arms around me to pull me to him for a brotherly hug. It was quick and sweet, he knew I needed to be alone. He pulled back, grabbing Rose and headed out my door. I turned the locks and leaned my head against the cool door for a moment, dizzy from the rush of emotions my body was trying to deal with.

I closed my eyes and immediately saw his face... I saw the sadness in his eyes that fateful night. The same night I destroyed all our happiness, forever. It was only a moment before I felt the unnatural twisting in my stomach, the tell tale sign of history repeating itself for what must have been the hundredth time. I could still hear his voice perfectly, the pain evident as his eyes filled with tears, speaking with a combination of hurt and anger. Hurt that I could ever do something so awful and angry that I ruined our love because from that minute, it would never be the same. It was over.

_**"What happened with Jasper ... It was nothing," I almost pleaded, holding his gaze as my eyes begged him to forgive me.**_

_"__**It might have been nothing to you, but to me ... It was betrayal. I've done nothing but love you. I give you everything I have to offer. I've never lied, never hurt you, I never wanted anyone else**__," he yelled, his anger starting to surface as he ran a hand frustratingly through his hair._

_**"Edward, don't do this,"**__ I begged, tears filling my eyes, the rain blinding me as I stood before him, unable to prove my love for him. _

_**"You did this, Bella,"**__ he whispered through his own tears. __**"I love you, so much... How could you do this to us?"**__ he cried, finally breaking down as we spent our final moments together._

I fell to my knees right there at the door, not even attempting to make it to the bathroom as I clutched at my chest, my heart breaking all over again before bending over unnaturally as my stomach tightened and everything I had eaten in the last two days made its way back out. I closed my eyes as I hovered above the puddle of pure bile as I wretched and heaved, finally falling back to lean my head against the door as I cried out a painful cry. One that would break any heart who had heard it.

All the memories came flooding back all at once and I couldn't' stand it another minute. I remembered all of it, every tiny detail. The night we met, the first time he kissed me... The first night he made love to me... The look in his eyes when he asked me to marry him. If I closed my eyes and held perfectly still, I could still remember the way his lips felt on mine when I told him "yes". A solemn swear at the moment which would turn into the most painful lie ever told. Unintentionally of course, but not that it made any difference. I've grown since then and realized that I didn't make a mistake. I made a choice. The wrong choice..

I cringed as I remembered the next argument. The one that made me wish that I was dead when I had to speak the words.

"_**Edward, I'm sorry… I made a mistake, it was just a momentary indiscretion, and it meant nothing."**_

"_**No, Bella… It meant everything."**_

And in that minute, he finally broke. By my hand… I watched as resolve took over his features and he brought a single arm up to pull me slightly closer as he closed his eyes and kissed the top of my head. I remember closing my eyes and holding my breath, hoping and praying with everything inside me that it wasn't the end. And just as quick as I thought the words, he was gone. I watched as he walked away from me and never looked back. I stood in the rain, crying so hard that I could barely breathe. I cried his name and fell to the grass, crying until I had no energy left. I fell asleep in the meadow that night, dreaming of better days and happier times. All of which included _my_ Edward.

When I woke, I ran as fast as I could back down the mountain and onto the winding road of the highway. I wandered aimlessly almost in a complete fog until I came to my own street, confusion evident on my face when I had seen Emmett, Rosalie and a bunch of police cars blocking off the street. I walked up to Emmett and it was the first time I had ever seen him cry. I asked what was wrong and he couldn't even speak to explain himself. He just broke down and turned away from me to collect himself.

It was only a few minutes later that an officer came over to me and asked if I was the fiancé of Edward Masen. My heart dropped as I shook my head and muttered out a very broken and confused, **"I was"**. The officer didn't ask any questions but he led me to a more private spot, away from everyone else and I looked back to see Emmett crying against Rose. My heart dropped at the thought of anything happening to my Edward and I grabbed at my stomach, anxious and afraid to hear what had happened.

"_**Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm afraid your friend has been killed." **_With a loud gasp I grabbed at his sleeve just to hold myself up. I whimpered out only his name as I asked for clarification.

"_**My Edward?"**_

The officer shook his name and flipped through some paperwork and spoke a name, one that made me die inside as he explained what had happened. _**"No, Ma'am it was Jasper Whitlock. We have Edward Masen in custody, standard procedure for accidents like this. He'll be cleared as soon as the paperwork goes through for the incident."**_

My stomach tightened and I was afraid I would throw up all over the officer as he spoke. He spoke as if he were reading from a script, no emotion and no remorse. It was standard routine for him, but it had just ended my whole world with just a few moments and a few words. I asked him what had happened and he had explained that Edward and Jasper had gotten into an argument in the street. There was loud words exchanged and Edward had turned away to leave and Jasper pulled him back, wanting to talk about something and that's when Edward had pushed Jasper and he fell back, stumbling into traffic and was hit by a car. He was still alive at the scene but died in the middle of the night due to complications from the accident.

The officer explained that Edward would not be charged with anything because it was just an unfortunate accident. The tears fell freely as a bone chilling ache took over my entire body, guilt eating me alive as he looked into my eyes and asked me if I had any idea what they could have arguing about. I shook my head and hung my head in shame as I walked away from him to join my mourning friends in the street.

At Jasper's funeral, I stood with Emmett and Rose and a few other close friends, holding a single rose as I stared at the casket that would be the final resting for my friend… It was my fault. I had put him there, maybe not directly but indirectly. I had been friends with Jasper for a very long time. In one drunken night, I made a choice. I slept with Jasper and it was out of lust and anger. I had an argument with my Edward over something stupid and completely irrelevant now, but regardless, what's done was done and I couldn't ever change it.

I stared at Edward the entire service, catching his eyes through our sunglasses every time the sun was cast directly over us, only lasting a moment each time under the constant cover of clouds. I cried… He cried… We didn't need to say anything because we both knew. We loved each other more than anything in the whole world but what had happened was astronomically devastating. All our loving memories would soon be replaced with hate and death, betrayal and deceit. It was a life I was afraid to face alone.

I had called, texted, emailed, sent endless letters… All, with no response. I had spent hours standing outside his house, crying and begging for forgiveness or even for him to hear me out, but he never did. He had cut all ties and the day I finally realized and accepted that it was over, was the day that I had died. I was walking and breathing but my heart was dead and I didn't care about anything anymore. I lived each day with a broken heart, just waiting for death to find me. Living every single day in pain was a fate I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's been three years since it happened and there isn't a single day that goes by that I don't think of it.

Finding out that my Edward was married was the final blow, so to speak. My heart just couldn't take another minute of this horrible life. I stood up from the door of my tiny apartment and walked into the bedroom, grabbing a picture of me and my Edward and laid it out on the bed. I grabbed my journal, which was only filled with unsent letters, all addressed to Edward Masen. I grabbed my pen and started my final letter, one that would eventually make its way into his hands.

What was meant to a personal goodbye, ended up being a song. One that I had always known the music to. It was in my heart, because it was Edward. I moved to the living room, which held nothing but a grand piano. I trailed my fingers along the black finish before taking my seat in front of it. I smiled at the memory of my Edward teaching me how to play all those years ago. I closed my eyes and let my fingers sweep gently over the keys until I felt the right note. My fingers moved effortlessly over the black and ivory keys, creating a melody that had once only ever existed in my heart and the words on the page turned into so much more as I created the perfect way to say goodbye to my love.

_**I heard that you're settled down… That you found a girl… And you're married now**_

_**I heard that your dreams came true, guess she gave you things I didn't give to you**_

_**Old friend why are you so shy, ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.**_

_**I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but, I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it**_

_**I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over.**_

_**Never mind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you two…**_

_**Don't forget me I beg, I'll remember you said**_

"_**Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"**_

_**Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah…**_

The words came easily as I sang my heart out to my Edward. I downloaded what I had recorded and didn't even bother to play it back, afraid I would lose my nerve. I shoved the tiny black flash drive into a manila envelope with my journal and stuffed them inside. The journal that was filled with my guilt, regret and my undying and eternal love for my Edward. I addressed to him and threw on an old sweatshirt of his as I tucked the envelope away to keep it from getting wet as I made my way out into the rain. I stuffed the envelope into the front pocket and pulled the hood up, walking at a slow pace as the rain poured down. My thoughts were jumbled as more tears fell, the emotions too strong to handle anymore as I accepted my life and knew that this would be the only way I could move on with my life and forget my Edward.

If I was going to have any kind of a life, I needed to accept that he would never be My Edward again. My already broken heart shattered a little bit more as I walked, taking steps to being myself closer to and closer to locking him away in my heart forever. I didn't even bother to wipe away the tears as I walked, my head was down and the weight of the rain pouring down on me was symbolic as I brought myself closer and closer.

I was barely even dazed when I had walked straight into someone; I wasn't even going to bother to look up until I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me to stop, forcing me to look up. I don't know if it was fate or destiny or any other greater being at work there, but when I looked up, I was staring into the sad eyes of Edward Masen. His eyes locked on mine, a mirror image of sadness as he spoke my name.

"_**Bella…" **_

My eyes closed as I finally got to hear his voice after three long and painful years. When I looked back at him, I reached into the front pocket of my hoodie and pulled out the manila envelope, never taking my eyes off of him as I handed to him, my face bearing no emotion other than the lose tears that fell freely. I spoke softly as I said the only truth I would ever know…

"_**I love you."**_

His eyes widened as I spoke, his hand reaching out slowly to take the envelope, tucking it away in his own jacket pocket before he stared back at me. No words needed to be spoken… We just knew.

_**This one was a little tough to take in, but I hope you all enjoyed it. The end is up for interpretation, feel free to offer your guesses, questions and comments. **_

_**Mad Love, **_

_**Kitten **_


End file.
